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  "SCHOOLMASTER LINCOLN AND HIS BOYS."  
 
 
The Southern Illustrated News
 
January 31, 1863
   
 
 
Schoolmaster Lincoln and his Boys.—Lincoln
Waal, boys, what's the matter with yer; you haint been hurt, hev yer?
McClellan.
Them fellers that run away has been beatin' us.
Lincoln.
What fellers?
McClellan.
Bob Lee and Jeb Stuart and them.
Lincoln.
I sent you out to fetch them same fellers back, so's I could wallop 'em.
McClellan.
Yes, but Bob Lee took and bunged me in the eye.
Pope.
And Stunwall Jackson he kicked me in the rear until he broke my arm.
Banks.
Yes, and that same feller gouged me and run me until I run my leg off and hev to wear a wooden one.
Burnside.
All of 'em, Bob Lee, Stunwall and Stuart, jumped on me at Fredericksburg and give me fits; that's the reason my jaw is tied up, to keep my teeth from chatterin', for I've had a fit of the ager ever since.
Lincoln.
You are a worthless set, all of you. You haint no spunk. I'm agoin' to spank every one of yer. Come up here.

 
 
 

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